I have been a fan of Chinese food and fortune cookies for as long as I can remember. I am saddened by the changes that have happened to them over the years.
It used to be a simple piece of wisdom, but now we are a multi-tasking society. How is a fortune cookie supposed to fit in? They started by adding the lotto numbers. Now we have the "learn Chinese" portion added. Such a small piece of paper to try to handle so much.
The last straw is that the quality of "wisdom" is declining. Proof is in the last of my most recent fortunes.
"Everyone has ambition"
"If you never change your mind, why have one?" Ya-zi means Duck in Chinese.
So, now I will try my hand at writing for fortune cookies.
"Whoever smelt it, dealt it."
"Fettuccini!"
"Wooyup, wooyup, wooo! He's a big bear!"
"Your mama!"
"Just give up. You don't have a chance"
"Don't put all your egg rolls in one basket."
"Do you think you are turning Japanese?"
Plan to see my fortune cookies soon. Feel free to make your own fortune cookies.
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I've always liked the idea of MIS-fortune cookies.
Things like:
"It's terminal."
or
"The baby's not yours."
If you want to go into business together, I'm in. We can create the company with the profits from our lucritive rap career.
My fortune cookies would say things that only made sense to me and sounded nonsensical to most everyone else.
"I love warm chicken bellies."
"Hey, Bear Cub."
"Why are you so bad?"
I have a great recipe for fortune cookies. I used to make them for presents and I would make up the fortunes. It was so much fun. We should add the good ones, bad ones and random ones together for a fun mix of fortunes.
Perhaps at our graduation party or your wedding?
You forgot,
"I don't believe that."
"Maybe it's your upper lip."
If the rap career falls short, I'll be your financial backer.
Yay Kirsten! That is a great idea for our graduation party! It will be so much fun! We can ask all of our friends to contribute to the list of sayings and we can hand them out as fun favors, or we could come up with a game to play with them! Yay! Fun!
I'm in! How many can we contribute? Will Jared be reading these fortunes?
Mark, even if Jared is not going to be reading the fortune cookies (but he will) you cannot put profane rap lyrics in them. Rap lyrics? Fine. Profanity? Strictly prohibited. Keep it clean for the kids.
Just kidding, you can contribute as many as you want. Go knock yourself out!
I'll just stick to obscure euphemisms that could be either really confusing or really dirty, most of which would contain the words "pupil hair."
How about "Welcome to Buttonhole!"
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