I am sorry/The Witch is alive!

I spend a lot of time saying I am sorry. I say sorry for things that I am not sorry about. I say sorry for things I have no control over. I say sorry in places that don't require sorry. I don't like being sorry all of the time, and I am sorry about that. I am not sure where I got the idea to apologize for everything, but I fight to not say it so much. Sometimes it is my way of saying, "I sympathize." Sometimes it is just me apologizing for something that I don't have any part in, and those are the ones I hate the most. It is as annoying to me as "um" is to some of you. I say it without thinking so much that I wonder if I am really sorry, or just have good reflexes.

Does anyone else suffer from similar annoying habits? Feel free to tell on yourself.

***Overheard leaving Wicked***

As Kirsten and I were leaving Wicked, I heard a young boy (not older than 7) saying, "She's alive! The movie makes you think she died, but she has been alive the whole time. She's alive!"

I just thought it cute how the boy was not only amazed at the Witch's ability to survive, but how the musical had converted him into her camp. (Not to ruin it, but the "not so" wicked Witch is alive)

Me and Dunkin

Liking Dunkin Donuts goes against something deep inside of me. I believe in a clean environment and good service. Unfortunately, Dunkin rarely offers me either. They have good coffee(nay, great coffee), and I usually don't feel like a schmuck when I buy it. I tell myself that it is the working persons coffee. Good taste with no frills. The problem is that a large coffee is almost 2 bucks. How can that be a working person's coffee? I am a bit embarrassed to say the cost because I know what the mammoth quantity of Folgers goes for. Six dollars.

I have somehow convinced myself that it is ok. Maybe it is because I like being on the side of the underdog, and Starbucks is, without a doubt, the Goliath from Seattle.

Still, I feel that one of these folks smiling at me would be the least they could do when I am trying the best I can to save their company that seems near extinction. Instead, I am made to feel like my orders are a nuisance (regardless of how easy they are), and my entry just before closing is a crime. It is just coffee. How can my coming in before close cause any problems? It is water and grounds. It is not like you have to fire up the grill, or make such a great effort. I am not putting you behind in anyway. You will still get out at 10:07.

All I ask is that they show me some little sparkle. Tease me. Jest goes a long way. For now, I am just addicted.

Loving someone that won't love me back.

Old Tattoo

I had the pleasure of breakfast at Waffle House a few days ago. I love to see such a mixture of people, and the Waffle House never disappoints. I prefer a booth that allows me to see people as they come and go, but the hustle and bustle of a Sunday Morning would not permit. I sat at the counter. One of the ladies in the kitchen was singing hymns (it is Sunday after all). A couple in the corner caught my eye. The woman seemed to be going into her sixties. She was decked out in the colors of Spring. Her husband, I assume, is James Brown. He looked like it anyway. The James Brown that got arrested for going on a rampage. The only difference was his eyes. His eyes were very gentle and comforting. I found myself staring at him, and I knew that I would like him if I knew him. I imagine him to be a gentle mannered joker. He would make a great grandfather. The pair did not look like a match, but their body language suggested a love that had depth and firm rooting. Some hint to this improper duo was a faded tattoo on the lady's arm. A clue to what might have brought about a love that, I can only imagine, has survived decades. If her shirt had sleeves, or if the tattoo was in some nether region, I might not have ever guessed. This couple still doesn't know me, but we are friends. I am thankful to them for the days since then that I have thought about the paths we go down in our life. I get so focused on my life, and my day, that I don't take notice to the people who are around me. What interesting lives we lead. Our normal is another's fantastic. Our victory is another's loss.

Everyone seems more human when you look at them from their side of the story.

Stink Positive

Raleigh is bracing for the Tropical Storm to hit. I have seen footage of some of the flooding that happens up her and it is crazy. They really screwed up some of these areas that are brand new. One of their brand new malls was built in a valley. It showed footage last year where the water was over the top of cars!

Anyway, we have had two conference calls in the past two days on evacuation prep. The animals are a top concern, and we have to be prepared. There is a particular manager who would not usually be characterized as Mr. Energy, but he seems to light up when preparing for disaster. He is really enjoying thinking about all the things that might go wrong. I think he might kind of want the worst of it to blow on land. I hate to say that.

Do you know people like this? People who always have to focus on the negative. People that always have something tragic going on. Although they are complaining, it seem like they wouldn't want it any other way.

Bless their heart.

Jesus cleans my room

I usually leave the "Do Not Disturb" notice on my door while I am gone during the day. I like to leave my laptop out, and I don't like to take chances.

I had a letter on my door when I got to my room tonight.

Dear Guest,

Because the "Do Not Disturb" sign was displayed, we did not clean your room today. If you would like clean towels, linen or any other service, please call the front desk.

Jesus
Housekeeping

I just found this amusing. Jesus knocked, and I didn't let him in.

"We always wanted more"

Four of us went to eat at Johnny Rockets after church today. Kirsten, Kasey, Mrs. Donna, and I were all sitting at the table trying to decide what we wanted to order. Mrs. Donna (Kirsten and Kasey's mom) told me that this reminded her of when she was a little girl and would go with her family to the drug store after school. They had just enough money to all get sodas and share a basket of fries. She said she loved those times, but they always wanted more.

It hit me as soon as it came out of her mouth. I think it sums up the era of the baby boomers. They always wanted more. I wonder if we haven't lost a bit of that. We have grown accustomed to just getting what we want. When we have more than what we need, what happens? That hunger for more led for amazing changes and break-throughs. I feel irrelevant in history. What will my lethargic, well-fed body give to future generations? I hope that I always keep that hunger for more. America is a great country. Awesome. What if we could build an even better world? Their hunger helped build a great country. Our hunger could lift children out of poverty. We could unite countries. We could help end injustices everywhere. We could fight disease.

We just have to always want more.

Baby Lori

The PETCO in Concord, NC is raising baby lories. They have to hand feed them everyday. A grown Lori is a beautiful bird, and a great pet. The babies are an unbelievable sight. I thought something was wrong when I first saw them. Their feathers are uneven and their appearance is awkward. There are only a few signs of the beautiful birds they will become.

I met a guy who, three years ago, I would have probably not thought much of. He was going through rough times, and being hit from every side. He has fought hard to work himself back. He never gave up. I am so ashamed of myself for ever judging anyone. It is amazing how people change. How someone can make an influence in their life. All we need is something, or someone to latch onto. All we need is encouragement.

I can't tell you how many times I hear folks say, "you can't change people", or "people never change." Yet, they believe themselves capable of change. Don't we as Christians put heavy emphasis on this belief? Why are we constantly dismissing the abilities of those around us? Why do we focus on the ugly of mankind? We salivate at the thought of damage we would inflict on the guy that cut us off in traffic. We immediately forget the lady that held the elevator for us. We have a tendency to grasp tightly the unkind elements of our brothers and sisters, while using a sifter for the good. Sifting out the good with excuses of hidden meaning.

Lately, I have been encouraged. I find myself looking for the good, and it is there. I am trying to smile on others. Sounds corny? You bet, and I love it. A smile is one of the first things a baby does, and it is contagious. One book suggests that a baby's smile is what makes a parent willing to get up every night to cries of unhappiness. That baby's smile. It identifies friend from foe, and you can't fake it (at least not convincingly).

Not sure where this was intended to go. Simple. Don't judge a book by its cover. Have faith in your fellow man. Lend him a helping hand. Put a little love in your heart.

Try positivity (My own word. I enjoy it. Just like strategery.)

Just me and my thoughts

It is true that you don't laugh as much by yourself. I think it was C.S. Lewis that said "a friendship begins when two people realize that they were not alone to an experience and laugh together." Laughter is the best medicine and it is the fertilizer to friendship. I remember my crush on Kirsten beginning with seeing a look of understanding in her eyes(actually it began with how hot she is). It seemed like we thought in the same patterns. I loved, loved, loved, and still love her laugh. Such a reserved person, and then out it flows. There is no mistaking when she really finds something funny. I love her laugh.

I find myself looking for her when I see something that I know we would enjoy together. She always wonders why I look at her during moments that I think are funny. It is not because I am waiting for her to laugh. It is because I love that feeling of connection.

Well here are some of the small moments from this week.

*Today, I had lunch at Quiznos. I like to sit by windows so I can watch people. Watching people (not as stalker) is one of my favorite things. I watched a little old lady finish up her salad and then walk out side. She was nicely dressed for spring in comfortable "old lady attire", but w/ some sassy leather sandals. I watched her walk outside to a beautiful day. A breeze caught her and the sun was shining. She stopped for a moment and seemed to be standing on her tip toes as she arched her face to the sun. She was taking in the day and its beauty. She was alone. I started telling myself stories as to why she was alone and what she was like. That is something Kirsten and I always do. We don't know you, but we will make up your story for you.

*I was coming out of the bathroom as a boyscout (really, he was in costume) was coming in. He had already passed through when he saw me coming to the door. He raced back to the door and opened it for me. Just when you lose faith in kids you find a nice one.

*I have had at least two older, "not all there" folks start up conversations with me. Crazy people flock to me. If Patricia Arquette is the medium to the dead, I am the equivalent in the crazy world.

Sorry so long. I know it had no reason to the rhyme.

Days Inn? No thank you.

I am working in Williamsburg, VA this week. The town is growing outward and we are opening up in one of the new centers (Kirsten-it will have a UKROPs). The GM for this new store was nice enough to book hotel rooms for Jody (our boss) and me. He had plenty of choices and we left the decision of where up to him. He chose Days Inn. I hope I don't come across as snooty, but this was not even a two star hotel. A newer building (Guest Services, Pool, Dining Area, and Fitness Center) had been constructed in front of the four story structure that actually contained the rooms. Very misleading when checking in. A lot could be fixed by just cleaning properly or having high speed internet, but they were unable to contribute either. I asked about high speed and the stellar service rep told me, "We are on the waiting list." Indeed. The bed was as hard as the floor and the bathroom was scary.

My boss told me that was my last night there. I checked out the next morning and am now in a trustworty Hampton Inn. Very nice. I gots my internet. I gots my clean room. I gots my nice guest services.

Not related to the story, but I miss my wife greatly. I know you will read this post, and (everyone else can pretend they are done) I love you entirely.

An evening with Wayne Brady

I am at the PETCO Convention/Trade Show and tonight's entertainment was the great Wayne Brady. The show was hilarious and everything I thought "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" would be. He finished the night with song suggestions. I heard classics from:

• Creed -"Are They Fake or Real?" sung to "Arms Wide Open" and based off a Hooters Experience
• NSync - "I want a butler monkey". You get the idea of the song, but it was sung to "Bye, Bye, Bye"
• Ozzy - A great song about Mel Gibson and his recent comments about those of Jewish heritage (Mind Train).
• Rod Stewart - "Today I flushed my favorite friend!" sung to "You are so Beautiful"
• and my absolute favorite. "Hamster Milk" sung to "Purple Rain"

It was a very fun night!

I like Harry Potter!

I really do. JK Rowling, John Irving, and Stephen King were at a conference last week. The great Rowling let us know that 2 of the main characters will die in the last book (I gasped) and that Harry lives (Temporary relief until I remembered Hermoine and Ron).

I thank JJ for giving me such a treasure.

It shall be a most awesome midnight madness when this final joy comes out.

Even pretty people get cheated on!

Everyone is amazed that a man could cheat on Christy Brinkley. "She is just pretty!" I think we all too often get the wrong answers when we ask the wrong questions. We assume women cheat because they are unsatisfied sexually or mentally with their relationship. We assume men cheat because the other woman is sexier. Not to say that these can't sometimes be true answers, but I think that there is something more to add. Men are not always blinded with lust (1% of the time we use our brains). Some women are the aggressors in extra-marital affairs. Notice that I don't think anyone who takes part in an affair is a victim. We are so very capable of chosing our course in life and to suggest otherwise is a lie at best.

I could say that people who cheat just suck and are mean. I don't think that is right entirely. I think they are selfish. That is the core. They might be selfish only for an instant, but it counts. It might be a counter-attack to a cheating/abusive/unsupportive spouse. But paybacks are always about selfishness.

Most importantly. I think it is funny how we look on the "pretty" people. I, not being one, am forever looking at Brad Pitt. I think he must be funny and smart. I don't know him, but I just get a feeling. My feeling probably comes from the fact that he is pretty and he MUST be funny and smart. People assume that Mrs. Brinkley must be a sex pot always on the prowl because that is how sexy women are and what guy would chance losing that. I don't know what their relationship was like. I am sure no one deserves to be cheated on. I hope she gets through this and the media passes on to the next story(for their kids sake).

She at least has her looks.

Keeping up with the Jones

I never thought I would do this. I have only been traveling three weeks, but I feel so out of touch with family and friends. I hope this is an easier way to catch up and to get out thoughts that bounce in my head. It is amazing what you uncover and see on the road and in hotels. I bounce from blog to blog trying to keep up and wishing to post my own thoughts. JJ's blog gave me the final push.

It really just comes down to being included.

Please be my friends.